Lens Learning

Have you ever fallen down an Instagram rabbit hole? You know: you click on a photo that someone you know liked, then you click on someone who liked that photo, then you find a photo of theirs that you like, click on another liker, etc. And all along you are scrolling through random, endless feeds. It happens to me all too often and is usually just a big waste of time. But, a couple days ago I ended up on a blog somewhere that said all you need to do in order to take better photos was to master the manual mode on your DSLR. I can’t remember where that was on the inter-webs now, but it also gave links to resources to help you learn. I just turned to my husband.

We’ve spent the last week playing with the camera and going over the basics. What seems like a lifetime ago, we did the same thing to pass the hours during our honeymoon stop in Egypt, while sailing up The Nile River on a felluca. (Um, yes. That totally happened in my life). We were traveling with our advanced point and shoot camera and his old 35mm. Egypt was our last stop in an 8-week trip and up until that point, I had only used our digital camera. Now, with nothing to do but relax and take in the view, I decided I would figure out how to use our little dinosaur. I really had to pay attention- I was shooting with real film. Considering there was no option to press delete immediately after seeing your failed attempt, a recent review of my work had me feeling quite good. There were some decent photos on that roll!

So, I am filing “learning how to use manual mode on my DSLR” in the “things I’d like to relearn this year.” A chance to exercise my mind, express my creativity, and hopefully end up a few great photographs of this amazing time in our lives. At the very least, we’ll end up with better photos of our kids. They are not the easiest subjects to practice on, but they do provide a lot of photo-worthy moments! While I am not taking photos of them, I’ll probably focus on some random flower, toy, food, or other silly object while adjusting my f-stop and ISO. Even the silliest compositions, if you can get the light just right, can produce a picture to be proud of, and one to make you smile. That one little moment is so fun and makes photography a very rewarding hobby!

Here’s a sampling from my first “roll of film” using the manual mode this last week. And the last one is from way back when we were on The Nile. Looking forward to sharing more as I get more practice!


DSCF1339
 DSCF1557DSCF1431
DSCF151559690021

Potato Chips & Pinwheels

I think all young families, whether consciously or not, spend a lot of time figuring out what their traditions will look like. Will they look the same as when they were growing up or will they be the exact opposite of when they were growing up? Is there something your spouse’s family loves that you don’t? Is there a tradition you always wished you had and now you feel like you can finally implement it?

Traditions don’t have to be grand or involved. I strive to make sure our traditions do nothing but bring joy- not stress, lots of forethought, cost lots of money, or require a ton of time. This is easier said than done when it’s Thanksgiving morning and you are trying to make sure everyone has their favorite dish, prepared their favorite way, to preserve the pleasure of their favorite bite. That is why the traditions I love most are the small, seeming inconsequential, silly ones. The things my parents didn’t even know made an impression on me. Maybe they do now that I am an adult and appreciate them (both the traditions and my parents) much more than I did when I was young. Like how every time we pulled into the driveway after a long day away from home or a weekend road trip my mother would say “home again, home again, jiggity jog” without fail. Now, when I say it (or better yet, when one of my boys remembers to say it) I am transported right into the back seat while flashes of my childhood adventures, family gatherings, and sporting events we would be returning from run through my memory.

I often wonder what my kids will think of me, the mom of their childhood, when they are older. If I had to take a guess today, I think they’d say I was an impatient, all-to-loud dictator! Lack-of-sleep, winter temperatures sticking around well past their welcome, and a carousel of germs have finally got the better of me. I have been beaten. I know the last week was not the best of my young mothering career.  But, then I remembered two bright spots.  Teeny weeny, but bright, and I am choosing to concentrate on those instead of the 17 times I lost my temper (perhaps a little bit justified, but probably never really necessary)! If you are one of the handful of people that follow me on Instagram, this will be old news!

Bright Spot #1: Saint Patrick’s Day. I am 50% Irish.  My first name is Erin and I have red hair and freckles, but growing up we never did anything for Saint Patrick’s Day except wear the obligatory green shirt. Somehow, I have not had a green shirt for at least the last 5 years- and each year on March 17 that is a surprise to me!  So, last Monday night, I had to run to the grocery store for bread. While I was there, I picked up 4 store-made cupcakes with shamrock charms on top thinking that at least we would mention the day and have a treat. For whatever reason, the next day when I woke up and it was Saint Patrick’s Day, I felt bad that I was letting it go by without putting in any effort.  And without using the day to do something fun with or for my kids. I tried to think of what I had on-hand that could turn into something we’d all enjoy.  Then it came to me- I had a bag of potatoes in the pantry.  And I had green food coloring.  We could have green potato chips with dinner! Hooray! (note: this also falls into my mission to try new things this year. I have never made homemade potato chips! I highly recommend them. I turned to Martha Stewart for the best way to make them, and ours were baked.) My toddler joined me at the counter to watch me slice the potatoes and together we mixed up the olive oil, seasonings, and food coloring. He was pretty excited to see everything turn green. Into the oven they went. Out out of oven they came. Green, crispy, and delicious! There we have it.  A new, simple, fun tradition that everyone enjoys and I think they will remember. Green potato chips on Saint Patrick’s Day.

IMG_1053

Bright Spot #2: On that same trip to the grocery store, when I realized I was actually alone, I stopped to pick up 3 pinwheels at the craft store. Each day at lunch, we eat in front of patio doors that look out onto our backyard. Last year I had the idea to surprise my boys by adding pinwheels to the garden on the first day of spring. They loved it and we watched those pinwheels spin every day after that. It never got old. I even know a little pinwheel ditty: “Pinwheel, pinwheel, where have you been. Hello, how are you and won’t you come in?” (I think it’s from a show I used to watch on Nickelodeon?) This year it is not-so-spring-like. I had to stake the pinwheels into the snow, because the ground is still frozen. But, the kids didn’t care. They were so excited! The idea that the “spring fairy” brought them only lasted a second- my oldest immediately exclaimed that I must be the fairy. It didn’t matter though. They were surprised, happy to see some color in the backyard, and I was feeling great that I actually I remembered this year. Another little tradition that is simple and fun. In a few years, our garden will be full of pinwheels and our view will be brilliantly colored, no matter how long winter decides to stay each year.

IMG_2173

If I can accumulate more moments like these two, my kids may be able to add silly and fun to their description of me as a young mom! With a house full of 3 boys less than five years apart, I will certainly need to be tough, strict, and clearly in-charge a lot of the time.  But, let’s hope those times only serve to help us get through the day and that the moments of whimsy are what make a lasting impression.

Procrastination Station

When you live in a house with only little boys, you make a lot of train references, and it becomes totally normal. So, today on this third day of March, I find myself chugging along. Making tracks to better tomorrows, little by very little. As I have mentioned, the progress on my 2015 resolution is coming along slowly. But, a new month brings a renewed attitude. I will get more done in March than I did in February. Right? Yes, as long as I switch tracks to bypass Procrastination Station.

Is it really procrastination if you are getting something concrete done? I guess the answer is yes- if it ultimately distracts from your end goal. But, what if it fixes a different distraction? You see, I was laying in bed one morning, listening to my oldest son stomping around downstairs, when I decided that the color on our bedroom walls was no good. Like, if-I-am-going-to-succeed-this-year-there-is-no-way-I-can-do-it-if-our-bedroom-is-this-color kind of no good. We moved in a little over two years ago and painted our large bedroom a dark blue/green/gray. Its name mentioned something about the night sky. We were looking for a rich, cozy color. The room has three windows and gets plenty of light, and we have never been afraid of bold colors. Up it went. And it took me this long to realize that the color of our walls has had any sort of effect on us. It looked pretty, and it played well off of our white furniture and colorful bedding. But, it did nothing to energize us in the morning, or make us feel welcome as we headed to bed at night. It wasn’t bold or cozy or warm.  It was dull, and so was the energy in our room as a result.

My husband dutifully went and picked up the paint at Lowe’s and my baby dutifully started taking longer afternoon naps so that I could start my project.  Mind you, this project was no where on THE LIST. You know, the running tally of things in your head that you should be doing, would like to be doing, could be doing. It jumped right over: finish basement, clean out closets, wash the windows, clean the car, even just do the laundry. Happily, though, I don’t care. I am halfway done and I can already tell the new color- birchwood white- will have exactly the positive effect that I had hoped. A clean slate, fresh and airy, to set my mood each day. A new foundation for my new and improved attitude and resolve.

Now, the time suck that occurs while I browse the internet/check my blog reader/stare at my Instagram feed is definitely procrastination. My ticket has been thoroughly punched at those depots and I should probably choose a different line. But, I say “all aboard” the painting train. Next Stop: Re-dedication Station?

IMG_1926

Before

IMG_1978

After

IMG_1928

What a change!

A green thumb can wait

My intentions: true.  My results: a bit lack-luster.

About a month ago, I posted my first entry.  I laid out my mission and I was excited.

Today, the feeling of defeat is creeping in (along with arctic temperatures). I have yet to actually learn anything new. My first goal in that realm was to incorporate fresh baked bread into our diet and routine. My wonderful husband bought me two amazing new cookbooks on the subject. In both books, the majority of the recipes call for instant yeast. I do not have instant yeast. I never remember to write instant yeast on the grocery list. I have not baked any bread.

I am doing my best to fight off any doubt in my resolution. I like to think of a story my mother-in-law tells. She remembers admiring her neighbor’s lush and beautiful flower gardens as she walked the block with her young kids. When she complemented the garden and expressed the desire for hers to be as beautiful, the neighbor had very kind, wise words. The neighbor, having already raised her small children, told my mother-in-law not to worry. She promised that one day, my MIL would also have a beautiful garden, but that her only job right now was to grow her children. What an amazing gift for one mom to give to another: the permission to let go and the understanding of what would follow.

On a semi-related note, I recently started using Instagram. It’s fun. But, there are a lot of feeds featuring moms of multiple children, who own their own business, wear designer clothes, eat gourmet food, and still manage to have time to share all that with the world. Good for them! Undoubtedly, these women have to have their down days, but it’s hard not to feel a bit sub-par compared to their stories. Thank you to @saraestey for sharing her “real” story today.  It sounded like a normal, beautiful, morning to me–and one that I have experienced more times than I can count!

So, I am getting up right now and will walk straight to the white board on the fridge to write down instant yeast. After that, it’s 50/50 whether or not it will come home with me from the store. But, I won’t forget any of my kids!

MY GARDEN

MY GARDEN

IMG_1770

Mission No. 2: Don’t worry, be happy!

IMG_1795The state of my home this morning: The vacuum is in the middle of the kitchen. The floors are still dirty. The dining room table is home to a pile of fabric for a project. The entryway still bears all the evidence of our outdoor adventures over the weekend. My closet is a pile of dirty laundry. The chair in my room is under a pile of clean laundry. The floor in my room is home to a collection of laundry baskets. The floor in my big boys’ room is a minefield of small toys sure to get me come nap-time. Please, don’t even look in the upstairs bathroom.

The flip-side of the coin: My oldest, P, is happily sorting his cars on the train table.  The middle guy, S, is wearing a blanket-cape while flying an airplane around the house. My baby, R, is watching the two of them from his bouncy seat gnawing on a wooden rattle. Our favorite album of kids music plays in the background. The library books strewn around the room have been read over and over and over again since last week’s story time. And, thank goodness, my coffee mug is still full!

When you look at it like that, it shouldn’t be hard to concentrate on the flip-side, right? There are days when that is a big struggle for me. I feel a major shift in my mood immediately after the house has been vacuumed. I really believe I can see clearer once the dust is gone, both literally and figuratively. But, some days, it just doesn’t happen.

You know what does happen, though? LIFE. This crazy, beautiful life I have created for myself. It doesn’t care if the sink is wiped clean or if the compost pail is overflowing. So, why should I? So, why should I? Starting today I won’t. Well, let’s be real, starting today I will try not to. Some days will be a magnificent triumph, and some days I will go to bed knowing I could have been better. And then I will remember: There’s always tomorrow.

Here’s to more happiness among the mess.

IMG_1796

Future Mess-maker

my mission

My mission in 2015 is to challenge myself to learn new things (and to regain a lot of lost knowledge, too). My oldest son is 4 1/2 and I know I was a smarter, more engaged, and more patient mom when he was my only baby. Now we have a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old as well, which means years of sleepless nights followed by demanding days (even the fun ones are demanding), resulting in a struggle to be my best possible self much of the time. Our family is now complete, and as my time with an infant slips away, I decided I’d better start climbing my way out of this fog. Starting a blog is my first challenge. I know, I am starting small!

My blog will give me a chance to reflect on my new journey. And provide a place to record, let go of, and hopefully laugh at, the slew of inevitably unsuccessful moments that lie ahead. I hope that purging my thoughts will help me to wake-up each morning with a fresh perspective so that I can conquer the challenge I already give myself every day- to be a better mom than I was the day before (or at least just as good if it was a great yesterday!). I’ll also have a chance to exercise my neglected brain just by writing these posts. Hopefully, as I write more and more, the time I spend crinkling my nose just to think of the word “time” will happen less and less!

If you join me on my journey, I think you will come to know a real person just trying to better herself for the sake of those connected to her.  And you will come to see that her effort is genuine, despite how cliche that sounds!

My 2yr old and me.  Apple Picking, Fall 2014.  An example of a GREAT day!

My 2yr old and me. Apple Picking, Fall 2014. An example of a GREAT day!